That would mean if an artist or band sold 1,00,000 copies of their album, at an average of $10 an album (and hardly any artist is selling that many nowadays), the artist or band walks away with $234,000. Not bad, huh? That’s a decent living. A band would have to split that four ways, which is about $60k, and that’s way better than working at Starbucks.

BUT — today’s artist’s are selling an average of 200,000 albums. That’s a take home value of $46,800. If you’re a solo artist, that’s still not bad. However, if you’re in a band with four members, you’re bringing home $11,700. Suddenly, Starbucks doesn’t sound so bad.

NOW — If you’re an independent artist, who has mediocre record sales of about 15,000, that’s about $150,000 in income. No doubt you’ll have expenses, but even with $50k in operating costs, you’re still coming home with a nice chunk of change. Now, you can open up your own Starbucks chain and live off that income — IF you don’t go out and buy a $100,000 gold chain instead.

Just saying….

Along with a bad year of sales and music, there were a slew of horrendous album covers that filled the bins at Best Buy and Walmart, the only two stores left in America still stocking CD’s. Here are 10 of those covers:

10. Clipse – Til The Casket Drops
Who drew this cover, the same people who draw the Simpsons? I respect Kaws work, but this is lazy.

9. Kiss – Sonic Boom
This takes terrible to a whole new level. Outdated, generic, and corny pretty much sums up this cover. Does Kiss even sign off on these things anymore?

8. Kid Cudi – Man On The Moon: The End of Day
Fam, you got a big ass head. I bet you get headaches “this big”

7. Flo-Rida – Roots
Attention all rappers: You gotta stop with the shirtless torso pictures, it’s played out! Unless you’re promoting homo-eroticism, keep your shirt on… and brush your teeth.

6. KRS-One & Buckshot – Survival Skills
I love these dudes, but they should have went with being in a forest with fatigues and bows and arrows, or being in a forest with a photo-shopped dead deer, or being in a forest around a campfire with marshmellows on sticks. (Get it, survival skills?)

5. Mannie Fresh – Return of the Ballin
Mannie’s return seems like a reminder that he was the mastermind behind Weezy. And that he loved Transformers. And he knows his cars. So don’t you forget it!

4. Joss Stone – Colour Me Free
Umm, I seriously have no words for this

3. Adam Lambert – For Your Entertainment
This cover looks gay. Wait, what? He is gay?? Oh, well nevermind then, it’s perfect!

2. Brooke Hogan – The Redemption
Two words: Prison Art

1. Chris Brown – Graffiti
Chris Breezy had a rough 2009 with all the backlash of backhanding Ri-Ri. His manager could have told him to throw a Big Bird outfit on for the cover and he would have done it, anything to get back to his Wrigley’s winning ways. But with this cover, he looking like he about to swat those cartoons characters after he sprays them with that can of Raid. Stop the violence ya’ll!

I couldn’t run through these bad mamma-jamma’s without giving you what I felt were some of the better covers of 2009. And here we go:

6. Dinosaur Jr. – Farm
I love Dinosaur Jr, and I was hyped about their 2009 release. As usual, they brought a funky artistic cover as well. The green guys look like giant buds and the smokestacks look like bongs with smoke coming out of them. Dope!

5. Yeah Yeah Yeah’s – It’s Blitz
I love the simplicity of this cover. No words, no logos. Just a split second before someone has to clean it up.

4. Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion
If you’ve sat in front of a computer in the last 12 months, you can appreciate this cover. Proof that the internet is what unites us all.

3. Weezer – Raditude
I’m a sucker for dogs, especially dogs in action!

2. Jay Z – The Blueprint 3
Did ya’ll see that commercial where they reproduced all of Jay’s covers live? That was awesome, and so is this. Jay has become the unofficial mayor of hip hop, and to me this cover represents all the music that he’s created over the years. Very artistic.

1. Susan Boyle – I Dreamed a Dream
You can clown me if you want, but going from a person who’s never been kissed before to looking like she just stepped out of “O” magazine, this cover has gotta win some kind of award, or at least the make up artist does. Good job!

So there you have it, the highs and lows of 2009. If you have any other winners and losers from last year, feel free to let me know!

As you might have suspected, the artist gets the least. Hell, even the lawyer gets more!

Stay independent, you’ll earn more.

I loved this, but no one wants to be a one hit wonder, including me. You tell yourself, “no way, I’m in this till the wheels fall off!”, but in reality, you were never driving. The major record label (the drivers) have paid you your money for the song, for the video, for promotion, radio spins, and interviews, but after that ride is over, it’s out you go, and on to the next. That’s the business they’re in, giving you $50,000 for your single or album, then making a gazillion dollars in downloads and CD sales. And if your second album or single aint hot enough, the only paper you’ll be seeing are pink ones. But don’t take it from me, ask these people:

1. Daniel Powter – BAD DAY
Never heard of this guy, but apparently his song was used for the 5th season of American Idol.

2. Terror Squad – LEAN BACK
Fat Joe hasn’t come out with anything hot since Jealous One’s Envy. Lean Back was pure luck.

3. Crazy Town – BUTTERFLY
Crazy Town made it a hot sample, but Red Hot Chili Peppers made it a hot song.

4. MIMS – THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
And this is why u aint around anymore.

5. D4L – LAFFY TAFFY
Remember when these clowns came out? Everybody was up in arms over all the shuckin and jivin they were doing. (Except everyone who was doing the Laffy Taffy)

6. James Blunt – YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL
The song that got him laid by beautiful models everywhere

7. Gnarls Barkley – CRAZY
I hate to bust on Gnarls as I love them, and I think they’re second album was better than their first. Still, they had everyone covering this song from Billy Idol to Paris Hilton. Enough is enough.

8. Blu Cantrell – HIT ‘EM UP STYLE (OOPS!)
She hasn’t done anything since her nude spread in Black Tail

9. Bo Bice – INSIDE YOUR HEAVEN
Who??

10. Dream – HE LOVES U NOT
Who??

11. J-Kwon – TIPSY
Errbody forgot this song, after they got tipsy

12. Cassie – ME & U
I could on and on about this girl, but I’ll just say, Diddy got tired of tappin that ass

13. Lou Bega – MAMBO NO. 5 (A LITTLE BIT OF…)
Jesus

14. Lil’ Romeo – MY BABY
Make ‘em say enouuuugh

15. Lumidee – NEVER LEAVE YOU – UH OOH, UH OOOH!
I used to work with one of Lumidee’s good friends Uptown. She said the labels gave her $5G’s, and some gold hoop earrings that said “Lumidee” in the middle as an advance. I wonder if they offered to pay to get her nails done too.

16. Hinder – LIPS OF AN ANGEL
Who??

17. Kevin Lyttle feat. Spragga Benz – TURN ME ON
Who??

18. Youngbloodz feat. Lil Jon – DAMN!
Remember when Lil Jon was that dude?!? Me neither…

19. Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook – WHERE’D YOU GO
Word, where did you go Mike Shinoda?

20. Samantha Mumba – GOTTA TELL YOU
Who??

21. Cassidy feat. R. Kelly – HOTEL
I wouldn’t call this Omar Epps a-alike a one hit wonder, maybe a three hit wonder. But he could be Omar Epps stunt double

22. Macy Gray – I TRY
This was that song the DJ played to get all the drunk bitches out the club.

23. The Calling – WHEREVER YOU WILL GO
Who??

24. Vanessa Carlton – A THOUSAND MILES
Break out this classic at any sweet 16 party, those little white girls go crazy!

25. Ruff Endz – NO MORE
Who??

26. Eiffel 65 – BLUE (DA BA DEE)
Who??

27. Rich Boy feat. Polow Da Don – THROW SOME D’s
I was actually feeling Rich Boy’s album, but once Kanye ran with this beat, it was a wrap for Ol’ Rich Boy. Better luck next time

28. Nick Lachey – WHAT’S LEFT OF ME
You notice it’s never Nick Lachey by himself, it’s always: Jessica Simpson (and Nick Lachey), or Vanessa Minnillo (and Nick Lachey) or Mrs. Lachey (and son Nick Lachey)

29. Tweet – OOPS (OH MY)
Whatever happened to Tweet??

30. Hurricane Chris – A BAY BAY
No way way

31. Jibbs – CHAIN HANG LOW
The ice cream man is coming!!

32. Sonique – IT FEELS SO GOOD
Who??

33. DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do – HEAVEN
Who??

34. Eden’s Crush – GET OVER YOURSELF
Who??

35. D.H.T. – LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Who??

36. Truth Hurts Feat. Rakim – ADDICTIVE
Rakim made this track hot. Good thing he aint part of he group

37. Kevon Edmonds – 24/7
Who??

38. S Club 7 – NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
Who??

39. Young Dro feat. T.I. – SHOULDER LEAN
See #5

(via Billboard)

I say this prayer every night before I go to bed to ward off any One Hit Wonder demons, I suggest they do the same:

Now I lay me down to sleep, and pray Jimmy Iovine my soul to keep, if I go wack before I wake, I pray Puff Daddy my soul to take.